This past January, I did something I never thought I would do: I disabled my Instagram account.

You might be wondering what possessed me to do something like this in a time when having an online presence seems so important, especially for a blogger.

I did it because I was exhausted – emotionally, mentally, and even physically exhausted. I was so tired of giving myself the opportunity, every single day, to compare my simple little life to the seemingly flawless lives of those around me. It was so unhealthy, and it was draining the life from me. As a result, I was really unhappy most of the time.

I had known for years that I needed a break from social media. I knew it because I couldn’t sit still. I couldn’t be alone with my inward thoughts and feelings. Anytime I had a “break” in the day, I whipped out my phone and aimlessly scrolled. It was an addicting behavior… a reflex I just couldn’t seem to stop.

It got even worse when Instagram added the “Stories” feature. As if seeing periodic pictures of people’s perfect lives wasn’t enough, now I could see what they’re up to all day long! 

This led to some really unpleasant thoughts and feelings:

“Wow, that kitchen is beautiful. I wish I didn’t have mismatched appliances.”

“She’s doing this Story with no makeup on! If only my skin was so smooth.”

“A vacation to Paris?! Only in my dreams.”

“You’re building a brand new house? What kind of job do you have that you can afford that at your age?!”

These thoughts led to feelings of resentment. Seething jealousy for possessions I couldn’t afford. And worst of all, a hatred of others… yes, even a hatred of people I’d never even met in person before.

Stop for a minute. Do you hear how insane this is?! But in our present culture, it’s totally normal. Did you hear me? I said it’s TOTALLY. NORMAL.

And I haven’t even mentioned Facebook. (Yes, Facebook… the wonderful place where people say hateful things in isolation that they’d never, ever consider saying in person. But I digress.)

So finally, in January, I’d had enough of “normal.” I wanted to redefine my normal. I put a stop to the madness. I disabled my account. I chose freedom.

It changed my life. Rather, it gave me my life back!

It was like turning off a switch to a white noise machine I didn’t know was running in the background of my whole entire life. Suddenly I could focus more on playing with my daughter. I could sit down with a cup of coffee and truly enjoy it. I could read more than one chapter in a book without reaching for my phone.

I could rest.

Friends, if you’re finding yourself addicted to your phone – particularly social media – I’m asking you to consider a break. Please, take a step back and evaluate how social media is playing a role in your life.

I genuinely believe that we can use social media in a way that’s healthy. We can use it to keep in touch with distant relatives and far away friends. We can even use it to spread the hope of the gospel! But if we are using it to compare ourselves to others or to engage in unhealthy online debates… it’s time for a break and a change of perspective.

It’s been seven months since I pulled the trigger and disabled my Instagram. I’m currently planning to keep it off until January 2021. When January rolls around, I may consider turning it back on if – and only if – I feel I can use it in a way that is healthy, loving, and pleasing to my heavenly father.