She’s 22 years old. She’s got a college degree and a stable job. She loves the Lord with her whole heart. She’s got a strong family, sweet friends and many ambitions for her future. So the only missing piece to the puzzle must be this: Why isn’t she married—or at the very least, dating to find her future hubby? Is there something wrong with her?

No, there is nothing “wrong” with her—she simply realizes that it’s better to be single than to marry {or even waste time dating} a man of the world. When it comes to dating and marriage, she is holding out for a man of God who loves the Lord, understands the gospel, has a servant’s heart, is a hard worker and relies on God to turn his eyes away from evil things—a man who is not perfect, but who strives to become more like Christ with each passing day.

And truthfully, she hasn’t met him yet. She jokes that she’d also like to add “must resemble Prince Caspian” to her list of requirements. But deep down, beneath the surface, she knows what’s important. She’s missed the red flags in the past and had her heart broken to pieces before; she’s learned to look closely at a man’s heart, not his outer appearance or his charming one-liners.

She also knows that regardless of whether she ever becomes a “Mrs,” her life is in God’s hands. Yes, one of her greatest desires for her earthly life is to wear a white dress, say, “I do,” and live each day in pursuit of holiness alongside a husband. Oh, and she wants a few kids, too.

With every chick flick, Jane Austen novel and wedding invitation, she dreams more and more of her own future love life. She has learned to rejoice at the happiness of others, but she’s not perfect. She has to fight for joy and ask God to sustain her and help her turn away from envious thoughts. She chooses to surrender it all.

So why does she do it? Why does she work so hard? Why doesn’t she dress the part, flirt like it’s going out of style, marry the first offer she gets and finally start “living”?

Because she’s already living. She’s single, and she’s in love.

And here are three things she believes in strongly.

Marriage is a gift from God, but it’s not the ultimate gift He gives to us.*

Weddings and marriages are beautiful things. They truly are gifts from God! To be honest, I have a hard time holding back tears each time I watch a bride walk down the aisle. I can’t help myself—witnessing two individuals commit to serving one another for a lifetime is simply amazing. But it doesn’t end there. Marriage isn’t the end-all, be-all. It’s not the greatest gift we receive from God.

Even the best marriages are only “til death do us part.”*

As we are told in Matthew 22:30, we are not going to be married to our earthly spouses when we get to heaven. Marriage is not eternal; marriage is earthly. So there must be more to the picture. There must be something more satisfying, right?

The good news is there is. God created marriage to be a reflection of Jesus Christ and His bride, the Church {Ephesians 5:25}.From the very beginning, long before Christ even was born, God spoke to His people through prophets in the Old Testament, proclaiming that He would send a Lamb without blemish to be slain for our sins {Isaiah 53}. As a result of Christ’s obedience and death on the Cross, we are offered an eternity with Him {John 3}.

Even the best marriage cannot compare to our relationship with God.*

Nothing we experience on earth—not the perfect spouse, the perfect house, the perfect kids, the perfect job nor the perfect salary, nor anything—can compare to the satisfaction, fulfillment and joy that is Jesus Christ. When we come to Him and repent, our sins are forgiven and we are promised eternal life {John 3:16} and everything we need to make it through this life on the earth {Philippians 4:19}. For some, that might mean a spouse. For others, it may not. Married or not, we are all promised this kind of love:

But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved—and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus.” ~ Ephesians 2:4-6

If you’re not trusting in Christ today, I encourage you to come to Him. Lay aside your dreams and desires for your life, and know that each day of your life has already been planned out by God! My mom recites Psalm 139 to me regularly. She reminds me that God has ordained each day of my life before one of them came to be. I can trust Him, rely on Him and LOVE Him with my whole heart. God is NOT the means to an end—He is the end. He is the prize! Aside from Him and His faithful love, there is nothing else I need in this life.

Jen

*Special thanks to Pastor Bob for inspiring this post. All three subheadings are direct quotes from his message on Matthew 5:8. Thankful to have a pastor who preaches truth.

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